2009 Summer Movie Showdown!

Ahhhh…..summer movies!

3 months….no…4 MONTHS of gratutitous action, loud explosions, and mindblowing special FX!!

PLOT??? Feh!

Sheeeeeit, I spend an entire years worth of movie money on just summer movies alone! From May to August -we’re talking $200-300!! And I don’t buy $10 theater popcorn – helll naw Playah! I sneaks mine in Grandpa Freeman-style. Hahaa

and here in Austin, TX lucky bastards like me have the Alamo Drafthouse!

the ULTIMATE movie theater! -  trust me, its an experience like no other – the audience participation is off da chain. The staff don’t wear those corny, corporate logo polos. You get to see  outrageous vignettes from classic B-Movies – AND – before the movie even starts you can get blitzed off of beer and stuffed from freshly prepared entrees!  But i digress…

So this summer lacks a Will Smith  – BUT -  has a Will Ferrell.

And Marvel Comics makes sure to keep a blockbuster on tap every summer from now on! This summer also has mutants, gangsters, all kinds of robots, nazis, flying houses, dinosaurs, and a gay reporter!

So Friday, Dumpling, and I are gonna give our unique perspective on the ENTIRE Summer Movie schedule – of the movies that matter! So without further ado….

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Here is – ’2 Comic Book Guys’

Summer Movie Showdown!

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine

- Wolverine’s backstory with tons of guest mutants.

Jay: Gambit – Finally!

Friday: Sexy ass Emma frost!!

Dumpling: Hugh Jackman’s wet muscles and claws!! Niiiiiiice

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Star Trek (2009)

- Re-envisioned masterpiece?

Jay: maaaan , the teasers have me wetting my drawers! I’m a lite-Trekkie, so I can’t wait to watch Zachary Quinto take the mantle of Spock from Leonard Nimoy. Sweeeeeet!

Friday: Muh-fuccin John Cho is Sulu!  ‘Harold’ from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle stepped it up!!

Dumpling: I love me some Zachary Quinto (Sylar)!

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Transformer’s: Revenge of the Fallen

- More and bigger robots! Way bigger.

Jay: DEVASTATORRRRRR! And more Megan Fox!

Friday: If i had a robot crush, Bumblebee would definitely be it! and Megan Fox is baaaaacccckkkk!!!

Dumpling: Nothing is sexier than the classic transformers sound effects -’Oooh-Oooh-err-err- chirr -chirr -chikk!’ – Ok, just click here —> transformer sounds

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G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra

- Greatest cartoon and toy of all time -turned- movie.

Jay: We finally get to see Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow on the BIG SCREEN! And – The Baroness! Oooooooh <3

Friday: Sienna Miller. nuff said!

Dumpling: I know that Eddie Murphy stuck G.I. Joe  in his butt ….

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Angels and Demons

- Robert Langdon pre-returns! Before DaVinci Code.

Jay: Never mind all of the boy-loving, vatican-hats! DaVinci Code ROCKED! – and ‘Angels and Demons’  is better than ‘Da Code’ ….soooo…..

Friday: Can’t wait to see this sequel………..

Dumpling: Destroy the Vatican!! (j/k) don’t kill me please.

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Terminator Salvation

- John Connor leads the human rebellion against Skynet!

Jay: No Ahh-nuld? Oh well….Bale looks bad-azz as John Connor!

Friday: This looks like it could be better than Terminator 2!!

Dumpling: I had a crush on Young John Connor – older John Connor [Bale] is SEXY!

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Land of the Lost

- Will Ferrell and dinosaurs.

Jay: YO – this dude can do no wrong with comedy!! Well, no more wrong after ‘Bewitched’, I mean. Still say he needs to make a Knight Rider movie.

Friday: Will Ferrell? T-Rex? I wonder how much soda am I going to spit out my nose?!!!!

Dumpling: Will Ferrell and dinosaurs!! Need I say more? “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?…….I knew it…“

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Public Enemies

- Gangsters. Johnny Depp. Michael Mann.

Jay: Goodfellas, Casino, Heat, Carlito’s Way, The Departed, Donnie Brasco. Make room for one more.

Friday: “I can rob any bank, anytime, anywhere. They have to be at all the banks, all the time.”

Dumpling: Johnny Depp? Christian Bale? Gangster movie? SLOBBER!!

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BRUNO

- Sasha’s latest comedic genius supposedly trumps Borat!

Jay: The trailer shows Bruno adopting a black kid ‘like Angelina and Madonna’! haaa – And then he names him O.J.!!! lmao!

Friday: I haven’t heard anything about this, so i know i’ll love it!!

Dumpling: Guilty pleasure – so wrong yet – so RIGHT! hahahaha

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Inglourious Basterds

- Tarantino’s vision of Nazi Germany.

Jay: Brad Pitt vs. Nazis! Are you fuccin kidding me?! This is Fight Club meets Pulp fiction meets Saving Private Ryan! And I want that poster hanging in my living room!

Friday: Tarantino? Pitt? count me in!!!!!

Dumpling: Leave it to Quentin Tarantino to kill some Nazis!

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UP (from Pixar)

- Latest Pixar masterpiece.

Jay: Pixar has kiddie movies on lock! And can’t lie – adults love ‘em too!

Friday: Damn you, Pixar!! you always know how to get my cash!!!!

Dumpling: Pixar always gets my money $$$!

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….And the Summer Movie Blockbuster $$$ Winner Is!…..

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Jay: It should be Star Trek or Transformers II -BUT – kids and people will flock in droves to see Pixar’s UP!

Dumpling: STAR TREK!! Way too many fans – old and new!

Friday: Transformers II. hands down.  or G.I. Joe.

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*** AND NOW – for our Readers – Which movie will be the biggest $$$ this summer?? **

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